How to a Beauty Queen (and not an asshole)

1984, Vanessa Willams crowned as Miss America

The other week, my girl Juli hosted a networking function. It was a chill event with good looking smart people. Discussion flowed on politics, and pop culture(Real Housewives YES!!) and their was even some dancing.  With all the fun and conversation going on I was surprised that a few of her guests some of these people I even knew decided to leave early because they didn’t think the crowd was “their crowd” or “their scene”. Tacky, right? I mean this was our friend and we should have been there supporting her! WTH?! Yeah, that didn't sit to well with me. I thought about all the different events they had in the past where Juli showed up excited to be there and support them. So I was pretty annoyed when they showed with attitudes, claiming to have “headaches” and not really putting any effort into having a good time, I mean we had a conga line for crying out loud, who sits out on a conga line?! Really? 

I pulled my dear friend Christina aside to share in this annoyance and that’s when she said the realist ish of 2012… "Stephanie, not everyone is going to be a beauty queen, what can you do?" YESS!!!!!! I screamed! She didn’t even have to explain,I already knew what she meant and she was right!! It was a quick reminder to me that everyone does not have the ability to go with the flow. Beauty Queens show up with a smile, and a positive attitude. Some people can roll with the punches and some simply cannot. It’s out of my control and it’s not my problem.

I would like to encourage you to "Always Be a Beauty Queen"

This is the reality. Sometimes you might have to do things you don’t want to do, sometimes friends, family, colleagues, whomever will host an event that might not be something you would do on your own and you will have to go with the flow if you choose to attend. However, always know that you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Don’t show up anywhere with a bad attitude, unless your going to a girlfriends house to vent.

If you want to be able to grow and expand yourself personally, professionally, romantically, whatever!! You have to be a beauty queen. So what does that mean?

How does one become a beauty queen, well here are a few tips, and you must follow these tips regardless if you are in the hood all the way to the Black Caucus Dinner it doest matter here we go:

Keep your energy up & your attitude positive- No one wants to be around a Debbie Downer, If you dont feel up to hanging out, CALL (not text) the host/hostess of the event or whomever invited you and apologize. You might feel bad for canceling, but get over it. Its much better this way, and you can always thank them afterwards

Look your best- No matter what your personal style is, look as good as you can. Clean your body, smell good, throw a few curls in your hair, whatever. When you look good, you feel good and thats just the honest truth. 

Be Respectful- This is sort of like just being cool. Dont go into an event showing your arse because you aren't having a good time. It's not a good look! if you begin a conversation and at some point you tune out, be nice and excuse yourself. Say to them "this conversation is really interesting, but I am not feeling well, here is my card, email me and lets get together" you know followup .ALL MOGULS MAKE SURE THEY FOLLOW UP!

Smile - Say Cheese!! 

Be Engaging- Make Light Conversation, the weather is a classic go to for a reason. In the event you begin a conversation and at some point you tune out, be nice and excuse yourself. Say to them "this conversation is really interesting, but I am not feeling well, here is my card, email me and lets get together" you know followup .ALL MOGULS MAKE SURE THEY FOLLOW UP!

Move & Groove- you might not want to be in the conga line, but cheer the others on, and keep a drink in your hand and just lightly move to the music. It shows that you are down to have a good time.

What would you add to the list?