I'm Just Gonna Do What I Want to DO

I was just speaking to my friend Jonathan on the phone, sort of complaining about life. You know the basics, paying off student loans and credit cards, and also why I cannot seem to choose between film and photography as a career path. The problem is that when I work on movies, I have no time for my photography. I feel as if I need to hire a marketing assistant to help prep mailers and make telephone calls for me so that I can really get my photo life flowing. Jonathan feels that this is something that I can and should be able to do on my own. I agree with him, although again, being on set for 12 hours day or the next few days is not going to make this very workable. So then he says that "I can do whatever the FREAK I want to do, and if someone disagrees, then screw em" Language was perhaps a bit more colorful. I guess I should work for me instead of trying to do for me around the mans time. Its hard though, and alot of work it can become overwhelming, sometimes its just easier to write someone else a check. He's right, the crazy thing is, I know this already. I suppose its just easier said than done. So again I am going to give myself a refocus and just say to myself: IF SOMEONE DOESN'T LIKE WHAT I AM DOING THEN I NEED TO UNCURL MY MIDDLE FINGER AND JUST KEEP IT MOVING

Fellas, Fellas, Fellas

Is it something in the bath water with these fellas in the world? Seriously the fellas are tripping.
I don’t understand why right away the following questions need to be addressed:
Do you want to be married?
Do you want to have children? If yes, How many?
EXACTLY what are YOU LOOKING FOR in a relationship?
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT ME RIGHT NOW, YOU NOW ABOUT THIS? ABOUT US?

Hold up, wait a minute!!! Can we just order our drinks first? I feel as if I answer these questions, not to my dates potential the dinner is over, WAY before it has begun. What is up with this? I don’t understand it. Why are people so much in a rush right now to jump into relationships? Why cant we just chill and take things SLOW.
Perhaps it is my fault. Right now, I am not looking to jump into a relationship. I am very much the chick that just wants to focus on my art right now. I can’t have a distraction of a fella trying to push me into a relationship right now. I need to keep my eyes on the final prize and lay out a foundation before ANY of the above questions can be answered. Its not that I wont be in a relationship, I just don’t want to think about such questions right away. IT SCARES ME.

To all of my single fellas, this is going to sound cliché, but you know what, its very true when I say that the right girl IS out there, BUT you may have scared her off with your wild questions. Chill out. It’s going to be ALL GOOD